Before the tweet in Grand Cayman
Jebediah boarded the airplane. It was a Bombardier CRJ900 with two turbofan jet engines. Run by SPARK, a subset of Ada. He sat down in his assigned seat and listened to the purser inform him that he was free to use his phone door-to-door on all Delta Connection flights. As long as the Airplane Mode was switched on. Jebediah knew that this was why Delta owned 49% of Virgin Atlantic.
On the plane ride, a woman in too much makeup asked Jebediah to get the man next to him so she could borrow his copy of the Economist. The man said she could keep it and that it was old. He had stubby little fingers. She was foreign.
At Terminal 2, they passed by Kids on the Fly, an exhibit of the Chicago Children’s Museum at Chicago O’Hare International Airport. A play area. Jebediah thought of Dennis.
The Blue Line of the Chicago Transit Authority was disrupted by weekend construction, so they had to take a small detour through Wicker Park. Wicker Park is a neighborhood. In Chicago. Jebediah looked at Glazed & Infused Doughnuts. He wondered if they made doughnuts there. Because of the meeting, he knocked someone off a Divvy bike and pedaled it to the Loop.
The Berghoff was opened in 1898 by Herman Joseph Berghoff.
Once he got to the Berghoff, he got a table for seven on the west wall. He eyed the electrical outlet and groaned. He had brought 3 cigarette lighter adapters with him, but nothing to plug into an AC outlet. How would he charge his device? An older gentleman came in. And greeted him.
“Hello, I’m Detective Chief Inspector Detweiler. Did you bring the evidence?” Said the man.
Jebediah coughed and said that he had to go downstairs. He went downstairs and looked at the doors. He breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing the word “washroom” in print reminded him of his home state of Canada. Back at the table he opened a bag, glared angrily at a cigarette lighter adapter, and pulled out a Palm m125. Running Palm OS 4.0. He noticed a third person at the table. It was the ghost of Bob Ross.
“Меня зовут кайзер созей,” said the ghost of Bob Ross. It was good for him to communicate telepathically with Sarah Palin.
“This has eight megabytes of RAM,” Jebediah informed the newcomer. Bob Ross’s ghost right-clicked on his face and rated him one star. Jebediah looked angrily at the AC outlet and fidgeted with two of his cigarette lighter adapters.
DCI Detweiler said, “I had a Handspring Visor Deluxe,” and pulled out a Samsung Galaxy Tab 3 8.0 eight-inch Android-based tablet computer running the Android 4.2.2 Jelly Bean operating system by Google. “This also has eight megabytes of RAM,” he continued. “As you requested, I brought the video of your nemesis at the Robie House.
Jebediah stared at the tablet. He could see a compressed video file, compressed with NetBSD compression and GNU encryption. It was on the tablet. “Some bridges you just don’t cross,” he hissed.
Meanwhile, in Gloucestershire, someone who looked suspiciously like Bobby Rainsbury opened up a MacBook Air and typed in a three-digit passcode. Across the street a wall safe slid out of the wall. And dropped onto someone’s head. She closed the laptop. And went to Dumfries.
Not far from the fallen safe, a group of men held a discussion.
FBI: Why are we here on this junket?
CIA: Where are we?
DIA: We’re here.
JIA: This is confusing.
NSA: I have to get back to that place in Germany where I don’t work.
ATF: We’re talking about giant robots here, people.
Giant robot spiders fought each other in a supermarket parking lot.
Detective Seabiscuit sucked on a throat lozenge. “Who are you again?” he asked the toll-booth operator.
“I said my name is Rogery Sterling,” replied the toll-booth operator.
“I said my name is Rogery Sterling,” replied the toll-booth operator. Again.
“Where am I?”
“Look, I’m telling you that that murder you’re investigating was caused by software bugs in the software.”
“Are we on a boat?”
“Look at the diagram. This agency paid money to introduce, quite deliberately, weaknesses in the security of this library, through this company here, and this company here.”
“Library, oh no. I have overdue fees.”
“And they’re running a PR campaign to increase use of this library. Saying that the competing options are inferior. But don’t worry, they’re trying to undermine those too.”
Detective Seabiscuit wasn’t listening. He had just remembered that he needed to stop by the Robie House.