“Last time I ate there I went to Pret a Manger and there was a guy doing crack on the counter,” she said. “The manager tried to kick him out. He started yelling ‘Fuck you! I work at Merrill Lynch!’ and then a guy started beating another guy’s head in in the train waiting room while his daughter was screaming. Police jumped over the walls and took ’em all away. It’s basically Chunking Mansions but worse.”

Posted on 2018-02-07
Tags: umismu

#765710 is confidence-inspiring.

Posted on 2018-01-03
Tags: barks

«Chäs us Rohmilch us de Region»

„kein Schweizerdeutsch“

«Englisch?»

„oder Hochdeutsch“

«Chäs us em Chloster vo Einsiedeln»

„kein Schwyzerdütsch“

«Englisch?»

„oder Hochdeutsch“

«Chääs?»

„kein Schwyzertüütsch“

«Englisch?»

„oder Hochdeutsch“

«ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ /ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ ▼・ᴥ・▼»

“Hold on, talk to the Portuguese guy.”

«Schwitzertitsch?»

「Chäs」

«ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ (◕‿◕✿)»

「゚・:。(ꈍᴗꈍ)ε`)~。*:・゚ 」

«/╲/( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)/╱»

“What happened?”

「Oh, she just wanted to know where to get Thai food.」

Posted on 2017-12-25
Tags: mintings

My high school biology teacher is still alive. His wife is in poor health so they sold the Holsteins, but the rest of the farm is still the same.

You may be wondering what dairy cows have to do with Switzerland.

Posted on 2017-11-26
Tags: etiamdisco

So who’s getting patchwork into Debian?

Posted on 2017-10-19
Tags: bamamba

PTT

“Hello,” said Adrian, but Adrian was lying.

“My name is Adrian,” said Adrian, but Adrian was lying.

“Today I took a pic of myself pulling a train,” announced Adrian.

Spaniard pulling a train

Posted on 2017-09-21
Tags: bgs

Bronwyn’s mom got hit by a semi. She was on the passenger side of the car, the side of impact, and she did not rebound with extreme resilience. The family sued the trucking company and came away with a settlement of roughly $10 million. The lawyers took $6.5 million of that: quite a deal.

Bronwyn learned two things from this, and neither one was about Christopher Lloyd.

Posted on 2017-09-02
Tags: mintings

“Hello,” said Adrian, but Adrian was lying.

“My name is Adrian,” said Adrian, but Adrian was lying.

Posted on 2017-09-01
Tags: bgs

What’s up with narcissists and sexual predators frequently reapplying their lipstick?

Posted on 2017-06-05
Tags: ranticore

The Canadians were on LSD. The sex-toy bag was full of booze and Olivia lost her buttplug and we had to search the kitchen drawers before she juiced the grapefruits.

Posted on 2017-05-29
Tags: mintings