Oh, little boy, pick up the pieces

Chris sat in the window seat in the row behind his parents. Actually he also sat in half of his neighbor’s seat. His neighbor was uncomfortable but said nothing and did not attempt to lower the armrest to try to contain his girth.

His parents were awful human beings: selfish, self-absorbed and controlling. “Chris,” his dad would say, “look out the window!” His dad was the type of officious busybody who would snitch on you at work for not snitching on someone else.

“What?” Chris would reply, after putting down The Handmaid’s Tale and removing one of his earbuds. Then his dad would insist that it was very important that he look out the window to see a very important cloud or glacial landform.

Chris would comply and then return to his book and music.

“Chris,” his mom would say, “you need to review our travel itinerary.” His mom cried herself to sleep when she heard that Nigel Stock died, gave up on ever finding True Love, and resolved to achieve a husband and child instead.

“What?” Chris would reply, after putting down The Handmaid’s Tale and removing one of his earbuds. Then his mom would insist that it was very important that review photos and prose regarding their managed tour package in Costa Rica, because he wouldn’t want to show up there unprepared. Chris would passive-aggressively stare at each page of the packet, then hand it back to his mother.

It was already somewhat clear that due to delays in taking off they would be missing their connecting flight to Costa Rica. About ⅓ of the passengers on the aeroplane were also going to Costa Rica, and were discussing the probable missed connection amongst themselves and with the flight staff.

Chris’s parents were oblivious to all of this, despite being native speakers of English. Additionally, just as they were unaware of what other people were discussing, they imagined that no one else could hear their private family discussions.

Everyone on the plane missed their connecting flights. Chris’s parents continued to be terrible human beings.

Posted on 2017-03-08
Tags: etiamdisco