If she were a proctologist, she would have noticed that he was a giant anus

He rattled on, « She's half-Turkish and half-Spanish--as in Spain. She grew up in the Dominican Republic but went to American schools there, so she has no accent. She's 6 feet tall, which means she's on my level, but when she puts on heels she's taller than me. She's very, very pretty... it's hard not to be when you're half Turkish and half Spanish and athletic... and to boot... here's the kicker... she's a doctor. »

« Is she a proctologist? » she inquired.

« Ha, no, » he replied, « but her subspecialty is GI. She did offer to perform my next colonoscopy. »

« Wait, » she said. « Your next colonoscopy? Something about that seems so wrong. No girl who wants to sleep with you should be itching to see the inside of your intestines. »

« So, anyway, » he continued, « she's got a wicked sense of humor and happens to love the opera. She's great elbow candy. Really, what this means is that I'm setting myself up for a big disappointment. »

« I dunno, » she said. « The potato girl still seems like she was the prime catch. Opera schmopera. »

« Oh, god, » he groaned. « You are so many years out of the loop. The potato chip girl? Beth? You realize that our daughter turned 10 on Sunday? »

« Holy shit! » she exclaimed. « 10! »

« Yeah, » he grunted. « I'm old! »

« No, no, » she insisted. « You're not old. Just your children are. »