Ripped from the BTSlines

[The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event, just like in Law & Order.]

James filed an RC bug on a package, complaining that it attempted to execute an illegal instruction on a Netwinder, running Linux 2.6.xx. This was sort of an ironic hipster tribute to the olden times when buildd admins would actually do their jobs, keeping chroots clean and current, reviewing buildd logs, and filing FTBFS bugs where appropriate, except that he didn't actually do any of those things.

18 minutes later, Aurelien replied, asking for more information in order to debug the problem.

« Teh-oh » said James, but nobody could hear him because he was talking to his Raggedy Ann doll.

Stephen suggested that Aurelien contact Vince or Steve to get access to different Netwinders, and Aurelien tried to reproduce the problem on other ARM machines unsuccessfully.

« Could you tell me the exact kernel version on this Netwinder, and the one on europa, which seems to have the same problem? » Aurelien asked James.

« Aaagh, they're trying to steal my precious bodily fluids! » hissed James, but nobody could hear him because he was talking to his inflatable astronut.

« Also, the contents of /proc/cpuinfo would be nice. » Aurelien added.

« We hates them, Clive Oven! » James announced, but nobody could hear him because he was talking to his EASY-BAKE REAL MEAL Oven.

« The Netwinder you were talking about is europa, wasn't it? Could you tell us the kernel versions on europa and elara? There's no problem on other Netwinders, so it's probably a kernel issue. »

« THE MARTIANS ARE COMING! » James cried, but nobody could hear him because he was talking to a small band of subservient deaf-mute milkmen.

« It's been more than a week since this bug has been filed, and there has been no useful information provided at all. Can anybody help? » asked Peter.

« HELLO. IS THIS THING ON? Could you have the elementary courtesy to follow up to the bugs you report? » asked Pierre.

« Bromeliads.. I'll buy you some bromeliads, » James muttered, but no one could hear him because he was talking to his ficus plant.

Loïc looked around, slipped into a cave, sprinted through a maze of tunnels, and sped in a small nuclear-powered submarine to James's secret undersea lair. Rapping on the bulkhead three times, he uttered the code phrase and James let him in.

After a conversation that took place strictly through pantomime, Loïc departed and James said, « For fuck's sake, » but no one could hear him because he was talking to a broken sonar antenna.

« Yo, James is busy, but he said that it's okay to downgrade the bug since it's not a problem with other Netwinders, » reported Loïc.

« I never said that! I don't even know who that guy is! I'm going to convert him into a kangaroo! » James sang, but no one could hear him since he was alone on a beach in Normandy.

A month later, Riku wrote to Woody, « Hey, we have this bug. Could you take a look? »

« Sure, » replied Woody, and he gave Aurelien access, and Aurelien debugged the problem in under an hour.

« Now everyone knows that europa and elara were running Linux 2.6.11. This is a breach of national security! » declared James, but nobody could hear him because he was talking to the crushed skull of a kitten who had recently been sunning himself.