Joey, in a hilarious exposition about thread patterns, mentions k00ks, which reminds me of movie adaptations.

Every time “good” books get turned into movies or things one seems to call “miniseries” even when they aren't, deep, thoughtful critical analysis sparks discussions that I am somehow forced to endure.

« Oh my god, that was so wrong. The book was very specific about how many steps there were, and Peter Jackson just went and changed it for no reason. »

« There was a book? »

« That was good. It was exactly like the movie. »

« No, it wasn't. The book didn't have Dumbledore crossdressing, Hermione being a dirty little slut, and Harry sodomizing Hagrid and all the animals. »

« Well, it had the same feel. »

« What you have to do is not think of it as having anything to do with the book. Then you might enjoy it. »

« It's a movie. Enjoy the movie. It's a movie. »

« I can't believe they didn't do anything about Sunny's teeth. It's like Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, only botched in the opposite way. »

Then there's the fun game of sitting around and arguing about which adaptation of Dune is the worst: some version of the movie, or the SCI Fi Channel miniseries. Who ever thought that hats would enter into a discussion like that? Not I. I still have some hope for the 18-hour Italian version featuring Salvador Dali, assuming they can resurrect Dali and start making the movie again.

Speaking of the SCI Fi Channel and their high-quality programming, I made the mistake of watching Legend of Earthsea, a “miniseries” with two whole parts.

Don't worry about this movie wrecking the books for you; it bears little resemblance to the Earthsea books by Ursula K. LeGuin. Apparently Ursula noticed this too, because she complained about the adaptation. It looks to me that she's being far too kind. My guess is that they took a a few of the books, ripped out some random pages, shuffled them, and gave them to the people who made the “BeastMaster” TV show, with instructions that didn't make sense in any language.

The best part of this “miniseries” for me was the point at which I was screaming at the guy on the screen (who was obviously a Hampshire student at some point) to go back and get his hackeysack.

Now I read that they're going to take religion out of the His Dark Materials adaptation. As Kaki would say histrionically, « Kill me now. »