Someone got a jones for the mozzi

Selling fresh mozzarella is illegal here. This means that I have to either make it myself, which would involve plunging my hands into scalding hot water, or procure it from someone flouting The Law.

So, instead of being able to go to the local supermarket, one may experience conversations like this.

« How fresh are they? »

« All fresh, mang. All fresh. »

« Which are the freshest? »

« All fresh. You want this one? »

« Is that the freshest? »

« They're all fresh. »

« Fine. »

Then maybe he'll give you a discount on some smack. If it turns out that he's given you some bad cheese, there's no legitimate entity to complain to; you either suck it up and deal, or you oil up your sawed-off and go hunting.