Rubber tard hats for Duncan and Brady

As human beings, we operate on stereotypes and snap judgments. Purse is getting kicked in the groin by a girl with pointy shoes. Pointy shoes went out of fashion 600 years ago. Tell her that, Purse.

In the twentieth century, I was at a wrap party for Kondom des Grauens, and I leaned over to my friend and pointed and said, « What do you think her ethnicity is? »

He looked at her, even though I hear that such behavior can get you locked up in this country, and he replied, « Well, I don't think this, but I think you think that she's half-Japanese, half-black. »

I said, « Uh, close, » because he was half-correct, and, though I was somewhat surprised by his response, I made my way across the private room at Life, which exists no longer, steering around the sphere of unpleasantness cast by Joe Fleishaker, who still exists.

« Excuse me, » I said to the girl, rudely interrupting her friends' vapid chatter. « Are you half-Japanese? »

She smiled, and she cheerfully answered, « No. I'm totally Polish! »

Somewhat surprised by the response, I had nothing else to say but « Oh. Wow. » Then I got the hell out of there.

Purse missed the last ferry to Nanaimo. Obviously he was not sweating at the time. Obviously.

So I was in this elevator in Brussels, just having fled from an angry mob of sprouts on the street, and this guy looks at me and says « سلام عليكم ».

I had nothing else to say but « و عليكم سلام »

« Oh, you're American, » he said. How offensive is that? « You looked like a Saudi national. » Then he got the hell out of there.

пельмени and no Atom feed? Dammit, Purse.

In a different elevator in Geneva, a young Iraqi girl said « شو تفكر » to her brother, but she slurred it so it sounded more like « شتفكر ». People were disturbed. The Iraqis were wearing pointy shoes. Go figure.

Purse: Gary is a cat. You knew that once.

In a Red Lobster, a woman asks her waitress, « Are you from Singapore? »

« Yes, I am, » replies the waitress, seemingly not curious at all about how someone could possibly determine that.

« It's very clean there, isn't it? »

« Yes, it's very clean. »

« Chewing gum is illegal. »

« Yes, it's forbidden. »

Purse hasn't even heard the story about conclusions reached from biographical research on Wordsworth.

Upon meeting Kim Lee, the man uttered a phrase in Korean.

« Huh? » Mr. Lee responded with the quickness.

« Oh, you don't speak Hangul? » the man said, as if this question made sense.

« Don't be stupid, » said the man's wife. « They're from Hong Kong. »

Mr. and Mrs. Lee gasped. « How did you know that? » they stammered.

The man's wife was too “polite” to answer them.

Posted on 2006-07-09
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