That was the best flan I've had since A-Rod's cousin brought me some. Hers wasn't topped with dulce de leche though. Suite Judy Blue Eyes, the dulce de leche. Mmm.

I don't know how I managed to get intoxicated. The waiter did flash me a creepy, mischievous smile when he was pouring my wine, so maybe he spiked it. Maybe the fine herbs in my cooked cheese were of a special psychoactive variety. I don't know.

What I do know is that I noticed something was wrong when I found myself walking up to a police officer and wishing him buenas noches. This is an unwise thing to do in police states like the US or UK. Depending on region and jurisdiction, this type of behavior can get you searched, cuffed, jacked, detained, questioned, interrogated, co-opted to help steal a fire truck, beaten, shot, looked at with disdain, or Clockwork-Oranged. He just looked at me like I was completely unsuspicious.

Then I inquired about how babby is formed. A few minutes later I was trying to escape from the ninth floor of a construction zone.

I have a friend whose name isn't Ronaldinho. not-Ronaldinho lives at the crossroads between two cultures. One culture is all about paying attention to your fellow human, trying to behave with honor and propriety, not inconveniencing anyone or causing them distress. The other culture is more about being reactive. Do what it is you like, and if you end up bothering people, they will alert you with loud complaints. Depending on the situation, the loud complaints can either result in apologies and behavior correction, or escalation.

The two of them don't mix particularly well because they're founded on entirely different assumptions. It's like what the Uruguayan prostitute says about the sponge used to wash ambos lados. I really hate her for that attitude.