In the sack: An orangeishness, more unnatural than Tang.

Wet: A plasticness of sorts.

The touch: Neutral.

The feel: Limoncello, lemon jello, the tropical stuff the gigolette put in her radiator, I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea I've got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me, zug-zug, you're the captain.

The magic of our lives:くろごまアイスクリン, the skunk over here will bring you luck, the pump over here comes with a truck.

Final verdict: Needs more enervation.

Posted Mon 02 Apr 2007 10:34:13 PM EDT Tags:

In the sack: Lemon and orange

Wet: A tiny gulp of Lymon, like you might get from a 28cl bottle of Sprite, when you had wanted a real beverage instead.

Dry down: Olive oiled HARD.

The touch: The discarded husks of a bygone era.

The feel: In a power vacuum, those least deserving will sally forth to claim their prize.

The magic of our lives: Eh.

Final verdict: Neh.

Posted Wed 19 Jul 2006 10:12:20 PM EDT Tags:

In the sack: A cluster of conifers huddled together in the midst of a scary deciduous forest.

Wet: Rosemary with oil of baby.

Dry down: OOS6

The touch: Oleotastic

The feel: The push and pull. The tease and coax. The rapture. Russell. Chmmr. Shofixti. The shimmering of alibis.

The magic of our lives: Lumps from without

Final verdict: Deism is overrated.

Posted Thu 16 Mar 2006 10:29:31 PM EST Tags:

In the sack: Sweet strawberry ammonia candy

Wet: Bread-in-a-can. You remember bread-in-a-can, don't you?

Dry down: OOS with reluctance

The touch: Crazy oil goodness

The feel: Orange groves, lemon groves, lime groves, but no citrus to be found. Tonsils, sweet tonsils. A frozen banana.

The magic of our lives: Homegirl done grunted at the maksha router.

Final verdict: To be stapled in.

Posted Sun 05 Mar 2006 12:10:48 AM EST Tags:

In the sack: Mango vomit

Wet: That's right. Mango vomit

Dry down: Yes, yes, mango vomit

The touch: Slight greasiness

The feel: Little eddies. Dragons and a cloaked Death. The kissing of lips, the kissing of toes, the smelling of armpits, the coming to blows. The kissing of toes, the kissing of lips, the smelling of armpits, the coming to grips.

The magic of our lives: Must be a coincidence, but I don't see a gollywog on a pin.

Final verdict: Nah.

Posted Fri 03 Mar 2006 11:42:18 PM EST Tags:

In the sack: Lemon

Wet: Citrus overload. The Colon Blow of Citrusland. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Dry down: Nothing? Could it be nothing? It's nothing.

The touch: Very slightly and pleasantly oily.

The feel: The false Capped are doing the Tripod Timewarp again and there is some clutching at Toys ’R Us.

The magic of our lives: A good start.

Final verdict: Repeatable.

Posted Wed 01 Mar 2006 08:50:08 AM EST Tags:

In the sack: rose

Wet: rose and citrus

Dry down: OOS4

The touch: Oily, almost enough.

The feel: She's a rambunctious little switch.

The magic of our lives: Piece without an overview.

Final verdict: May excel with accompaniment.

Posted Tue 28 Feb 2006 02:12:11 PM EST Tags:

In the sack: eraser, but not Eberhard-Faber.

Wet: eraser with a slight touch of paint thinner

Dry down: OOS3

The touch: Oily, but not enough

The feel: Eh.

The magic of our lives: Fuck Glinda.

Final verdict: What's the point?

Posted Fri 24 Feb 2006 09:23:29 AM EST Tags:

In the sack: Tang

Wet: Lemon-lime soda with a splash of Tang vomit

Dry down: OOS with eXtreme Ray of Prejudice

The touch: Sharp and pointy. Slightly oily. Perhaps not enough.

The feel: Oh my god, it's full of stars.

The magic of our lives: Ow, ow, ow.

Final verdict: What a lousy party.

Posted Thu 23 Feb 2006 09:08:37 AM EST Tags:

In the sack: Lestoil and citrus.

Wet: Citrus and Lestoil.

Dry down: Opted-out and slammed.

The touch: Oilily fine.

The feel:

Vous comprendrez
Qu'j'préfère rester
Au fond d'mon lit
A méditer
Avec ma mie
Qu'est bonn' comm' du
Pain pas béni
Du pain perdu
A la myrtille
Qu'j'préfère visiter quêques endroits
De paradis
Du bout des doigts
Dans des pays
Tout en dentelles
Et qui tout droit
Vous mènent au ciel.

The magic of our lives: The transcendence is not of itself.

Final verdict: Too many variables spoil the objective.

Posted Wed 15 Feb 2006 11:57:03 PM EST Tags: