French again

When I linked to an amusing rant about expression in French, I was contradicted by the peanut gallery. Unfortunately, no one was considerate enough to blog an explanation of why the piece was not, in fact, amusing; therefore, I cannot link to such.

However, Jean-Michel Kelbert was kind enough to blog in French about a completely unrelated topic. He does not use the words garçon, fille; tiède; chaud; any forms of the words aimer, baiser, embrasser; or even le weekend. He does use the word digital-shopping, but since it's the name of the website, there's nothing funny about that.

Now, for those playing at home, here is the challenge. Write a paragraph or two (in French), using all the French words above, and make sure it is not amusing in any way. You may use baiser as a noun if you wish to avoid vulgarity.

Do not, under any circumstances, email me your answers.