« She's an airy ho, » I observed.
« She's made of truffle froth, » he deduced.
« She doesn't look tasty, » I observed.
« Truffle froth is only good when paired with other things, » he explained, « like Jewel in a three-way. »
Posted Mon 01 Jan 2007 10:23:28 PM ESTErin and Andrés are fagging it up downtown, Colette's watching movies dubbed into French, Jim is scheming to sneak into Cuba, and I'm getting escorted out of a cathedral for crimes against humanity.
Rotate.
Lenore is eating a duck's foot. There are some lies about mistranslation.
Rotate.
Colette seems confused about why I would think the dog understood Flemish. The dog neither confirms nor denies its proficiency in Flemish.
Rotate.
Collette is playing with her dirty thumbnail.
Ew.
Posted Wed 03 Jan 2007 11:51:12 PM ESTRudy told James that he was going to be in Tainbridge the following Saturday and asked if he would like to have dinner or drinks and catch up. James agreed to dinner and they met at a very mediocre Italian restaurant that incited a mild bit of regret in the both of them.
Though they hadn't spoken in seven years, there was not much catching up. Rudy announced that he was moving to Tainbridge soon, and James's heart lept. Then somewhat abruptly, he asked if James had a boyfriend. James replied in the affirmative, and Rudy's heart sank.
Somewhat upset, Rudy called Carlo, then asked James if he would like to have dessert with Carlo downtown. James did not particularly want to have dessert with Carlo, so he replied in the affirmative.
Presently they came to be having dessert, and Carlo excitedly chattered about how he was getting Rudy a job at his firm and how everyone's lives were going to be fantastic. James developed a slight melancholy and went home to his boyfriend, Chaim.
Rudy moved to Tainbridge, began working at Carlo's firm, and started spending as much time at Carlo's house as Carlo spent at Rudy's. After about a month, he began to lose hope that work began tolerable, and life started to wear him down. Carlo knew that Rudy did not want him very much, but swore to win him over, no matter what it took. Carlo was very devoted to him, but the constant doting did not make him happy.
James called him to chat, and Rudy asked about his boyfriend again. James changed the subject, and Rudy jokingly suggested that James buy him a new phone. James laughed, and suggested that they get together. Rudy said that he was far too busy with work at the moment, but perhaps that would change in the future.
Then a spark of hope ignited within Rudy's soul, and he began to fantasize. Rudy would leave Carlo and run to James when given the new phone which would be imbued with so much unspoken meaning.
So too, a dream nagged at James's mind. Finally, in a moment of weakness, he bought a new phone which he imagined Rudy would like.
Rudy was afraid, so he continued to say that he was too busy to spend any time with James. James continued to grow frustrated until at last Rudy was free for dinner. So they made a date, and James gift-wrapped the phone and brought it along. Just a few minutes before their scheduled rendezvous, Rudy called and asked if it would be acceptable if Carlo joined them for dinner. James did not want Carlo to join them, so he answered in the affirmative.
Rudy avoided any opportunity for him to be alone with James, and James grew increasingly frustrated. When the bill arrived, everyone just stared at it contentiously until Carlo finally announced begrudgingly that he would pay for everyone.
Carlo and Rudy returned to Rudy's house, and James retired to his. James became more downcast and berated himself for being pathetic enough to buy the phone. Rudy became even more impatient, finally losing control and calling James to scream at him for being so inconsiderate as to make Carlo pay for the dinner. James was very defensive, and their relationship grew very strained.
One day, Rudy called James and invited him to dinner immediately after work. James accepted, and headed to the restaurant. When he got there, Rudy was alone. James groaned, for he did not have the phone with him. They had a very civil dinner, Rudy paid for both of them, and then they went home.
Rudy gave up all hope that James would buy him a phone. They never saw each other again.
Posted Thu 04 Jan 2007 09:04:04 PM EST10/01/05 10:47PM - Me too. Drunk, partying, and telling EVERYONE about you. all my love.
10/02/05 12:24AM - I'm back. Long day, but if you want to talk, I'm here. Love you. -Sparky
10/03/05 01:27PM - My soul's joy, I am jealous of that breeze, though in caressing you it warms my whole world. I will give you monsoons. -Sparky
10/03/05 07:58PM - I never get tired of hearing it, and I love telling you...I love you. -Sparky
10/04/05 04:11PM - Been a wonderful day-despite having puns about melons and the phrase "honeydew me" stuck in my brain. My other ubiquitous thought has been "I love her so much"
10/04/05 06:33PM - Saw you were feeling moody, so I hope this tips the balance to something positive: *kiss*...I love you, XXXXX. -Sparky
10/05/05 09:02AM - I was so tired this morning I wore my ugliest shirt to class (purple stripes-I look like an asphyxiated candy cane); but waking to thoughts of you-worth it.
10/05/05 10:41AM - And just for good measure-and because I can't stop myself-I love you, XXXXX my darling. -Sparky
10/06/05 01:07PM - Know what? I love you. *kiss*
10/07/05 12:36PM - X. - It's raining here, so I'm thinking of my sunshine. *kiss* -Sparky
10/09/05 02:09PM - Sleep, rest, recover from your ephermeral MS, party girl. And be warm in my love. *big kiss* All my love to you, my darling. - Sparky
10/10/05 12:58PM - Tired today, but each time I close my eyes, however briefly, I think of you- turning fatigue into elan. Love you, hon. -Sparky
10/12/05 03:49PM - Everything about me misses you, longs for you, and loves you. I love you a ridiculous amount, my sweet everything. - Sparky
10/14/05 03:59PM - The incompetence is especially charming, my dear. Of course I love you that much more now.
10/14/05 07:52PM - Everything okay? If you need some armchair navigation or some comp'ny, give a holler. *kiss*
10/19/05 03:39PM - Getting coffee filters. Long line.
10/21/05 09:55AM - One weirdo showed up. *sigh* Drive safely. I love you.
10/21/05 11:52AM - Zero...surprise. *smooch*
10/25/05 08:36PM - Novacaine, bad reception, long drive, and snow. Long weekend. I'll talk to you tomorrow, dear.
10/26/05 11:28PM - Sorry, really tired today (weather) so just sitting on the couch. Read your LJ, figured you'd be tired.
11/01/05 03:47PM - Been terribly over-worked; it's semester crunch time. Sorry for being unavailable but it can't be helped. I'll try to call b/n classes tomorrow. :-)
11/01/05 08:24PM - Thanks dear. I've dealt with worse though.
Posted Sat 06 Jan 2007 06:52:32 PM EST![[Venn diagram for Barbie]](http://ximg.scru.org/images/bbbbb.jpg)
I bet that this wasn't written by The Frugal Gourmet.
Posted Mon 08 Jan 2007 09:23:33 PM ESTEarlier, I linked to some douchebag who discusses the aesthetic judgment of photographers.
Now the good doctor links to a photo of which I would be proud, if only I had taken it.
Posted Wed 10 Jan 2007 11:05:16 AM ESTBrett, I'm guessing that the Neo1973 is probably much less evil than anything Apple would produce. Mayhaps the same applies to the Trolltech Greenphone as well.
Posted Wed 10 Jan 2007 11:06:07 PM ESTEver walk down the street and see a toddler talking on a toy cellphone, then realize that it's not a toy? Yup, it's a real phone that cost way more than mine.
Posted Thu 11 Jan 2007 04:43:38 PM ESTAfter seeing this and the wonderful comments, I now know where to go to get hard science.
Posted Fri 12 Jan 2007 11:36:53 AM ESTA box of strozzapreti hopped off a shelf in Osimo, headed to the sea, and booked passage on a freighter to the Promised Land. When it finally arrived in Staten Island, things were not as it expected.
One thing led to another, and it fled to New Jersey, where it wasn't any happier. The thing is, it had unrealistic expectations and thus will probably never be happy.
I was in no hurry when I went to rescue it, so I stopped by to visit Ari's mom. She loves WKXW 101.5 FM, so I just sat on the kitchen floor and rocked back and forth while we listened to some stupid call-in show about changing one's name for marriage.
My opinion is this: if your last name is something moderately pleasant, such as King, do not change it to something horrifying, like Herschmuckler. If your name is something already horrifying, such as Shimmelshitz, get married as soon as possible to someone with a less offensive name, like Pasayunk. Look at Lou Diamond Phillips; he changed his name from Louis Upchurch, and I unanimously regard that as a good move.
Some of the callers felt that for the sake of tradition and bolstering the bonds of marriage, a woman should always take her husband's name. Some callers felt that, realistically speaking, since one is bound to divorce the person to whom one has pledged eternal devotion, probably within the first three years or so, one should retain one's maiden name to save effort later.
Many of the observations that the realistic forecast for a marriage is short-term included anecdotes about how finances are generally kept separate these days. Very frequently I see married people loaning their spouses money, or arguing about who's going to pay for something. I find all of this quite bizarre. It's certainly not how married people behaved while I was growing up.
I bid Ari's mom good day, grabbed the box of strozzapreti, and escaped New Jersey. I have a few stories about misunderstandings over the tomato content of certain pasta sauces, but I like to save those for later.
Posted Fri 12 Jan 2007 08:15:44 PM ESTA reader informs me that she witnessed some guy hanging brain in a Virgin Megastore.
The implications are myriad.
Posted Wed 17 Jan 2007 10:16:25 AM ESTTodd,
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* 1^0 condition1
* 1^0 condition2
condition1or2