December came by, and the girl proceeded to remind everyone that her birthday was in a week. « My birthday is in a week! » she said. « I like flowers and candy. » « I just love roses and chocolate, » she said, « and my birthday is next Tuesday. »
After making the rounds, the girl went to visit the boy. « My birthday is in a week! » she declared.
« Yes. Next Tuesday, » he replied.
« I like flowers and candy. Do you like my shoes? » she said.
He looked down. « You know I hate high heels, » he sighed.
She pouted and stormed off. He threw away the birthday card he had been making.
« He's so mean to me, » she told everyone. « I hate him! » she announced. « I hate him because he's so mean to me! »
Everyone mumbled supportive nothings, and soon she was pacified by a couple of passing rhinestones and a length of ratty yarn. Before long it was her birthday.
The girl woke up to a plethora of Hallmark cards, flowers, and candies. She brushed her hair and went to see the boy.
« It is my birthday! » she announced.
« I know, » he said.
« I didn't see a present from you, » she stated, puzzled.
« That's because your present is here, » he retorted, grinning. She beamed while he went to fetch her gift.
« What the? » she squeaked, her brow furrowed.
« I got you a new coat, » he explained. « It has reinforced thumb holes so you won't have to cut your own and repair them, and it has extra pockets for your herb bags. »
« Do you like my shoes? »
He looked down. « You know I hate high heels, » he sighed.
« But they're shiny! »
« Well, I like you. »
« Then why didn't you get me flowers and candy‽‽‽ » she shrieked and stormed off.
December came 'round again, and the girl proceeded to remind everyone that her birthday was in a week. « My birthday is in a week! » she said. « I like flowers and candy. » « I just love roses and chocolate, » she said, « and my birthday is next Wednesday. »
After making the rounds, the girl went to visit the boy. « My birthday is in a week! » she declared.
« Is it? »
On Wednesday the boy bought her a box of chocolates and a dozen roses.
« Flowers and chocolate! » she exclaimed, delighted. « How thoughtful! »
Posted Tue 04 Jul 2006 06:44:12 PM EDTAs human beings, we operate on stereotypes and snap judgments. Purse is getting kicked in the groin by a girl with pointy shoes. Pointy shoes went out of fashion 600 years ago. Tell her that, Purse.
In the twentieth century, I was at a wrap party for Kondom des Grauens, and I leaned over to my friend and pointed and said, « What do you think her ethnicity is? »
He looked at her, even though I hear that such behavior can get you locked up in this country, and he replied, « Well, I don't think this, but I think you think that she's half-Japanese, half-black. »
I said, « Uh, close, » because he was half-correct, and, though I was somewhat surprised by his response, I made my way across the private room at Life, which exists no longer, steering around the sphere of unpleasantness cast by Joe Fleishaker, who still exists.
« Excuse me, » I said to the girl, rudely interrupting her friends' vapid chatter. « Are you half-Japanese? »
She smiled, and she cheerfully answered, « No. I'm totally Polish! »
Somewhat surprised by the response, I had nothing else to say but « Oh. Wow. » Then I got the hell out of there.
Purse missed the last ferry to Nanaimo. Obviously he was not sweating at the time. Obviously.
So I was in this elevator in Brussels, just having fled from an angry mob of sprouts on the street, and this guy looks at me and says « سلام عليكم ».
I had nothing else to say but « و عليكم سلام »
« Oh, you're American, » he said. How offensive is that? « You looked like a Saudi national. » Then he got the hell out of there.
пельмени and no Atom feed? Dammit, Purse.
In a different elevator in Geneva, a young Iraqi girl said « شو تفكر » to her brother, but she slurred it so it sounded more like « شتفكر ». People were disturbed. The Iraqis were wearing pointy shoes. Go figure.
Purse: Gary is a cat. You knew that once.
In a Red Lobster, a woman asks her waitress, « Are you from Singapore? »
« Yes, I am, » replies the waitress, seemingly not curious at all about how someone could possibly determine that.
« It's very clean there, isn't it? »
« Yes, it's very clean. »
« Chewing gum is illegal. »
« Yes, it's forbidden. »
Purse hasn't even heard the story about conclusions reached from biographical research on Wordsworth.
Upon meeting Kim Lee, the man uttered a phrase in Korean.
« Huh? » Mr. Lee responded with the quickness.
« Oh, you don't speak Hangul? » the man said, as if this question made sense.
« Don't be stupid, » said the man's wife. « They're from Hong Kong. »
Mr. and Mrs. Lee gasped. « How did you know that? » they stammered.
The man's wife was too “polite” to answer them.
Posted Sun 09 Jul 2006 12:46:55 AM EDTBy the way, anyone who thinks that a lack of Internet connectivity in housing is not a clear disadvantage is on the wrong drugs.
Posted Mon 10 Jul 2006 06:25:33 PM EDT![[Coca-Cola disfruta]](http://www.danamania.com/temp/newcoke.png)
In the sack: Lemon and orange
Wet: A tiny gulp of Lymon, like you might get from a 28cl bottle of Sprite, when you had wanted a real beverage instead.
Dry down: Olive oiled HARD.
The touch: The discarded husks of a bygone era.
The feel: In a power vacuum, those least deserving will sally forth to claim their prize.
The magic of our lives: Eh.
Final verdict: Neh.
Posted Wed 19 Jul 2006 10:12:20 PM EDTL'Endo writes
эта планета заставлает мена потет
Puns of a jovial nature aside, you need to control your crapulence. I note your eagerness to tumefy even while suspended in time. There's a budgerigar with your name on it. Kool Keith wants you to get off his elevator.
I know for certain, goodbye is a crime. The proverbial ball is in your “court”. Pip, pip, and cheerio.
Posted Sun 23 Jul 2006 11:24:19 PM EDTValència, Italia, India, Việt Nam, Japan, Seattle, jellybean, boom.
Posted Mon 24 Jul 2006 03:07:11 PM EDT- 6 T brown sugar
- 1 T salt
- 1-2 T chili powder
- 1 tsp cayenne pepper
- 1 tsp paprika
- ½ tsp black pepper
- ½ tsp cumin
- ½ tsp oregano
- ½ tsp dry mustard
maybe ¼ tsp thyme
if you feel like Rachael Ray, add garlic powder or onion powder
maybe a different chile powder like ancho or something
taste and adjust, should be SALTY, sweet and hot in roughly equal parts
Posted Tue 25 Jul 2006 10:20:59 PM EDT![[toresdrugs]](http://toresbe.at.ifi.uio.no/zsh-screenie.png)
Tore is on drugs, forking both perl and sed for each prompt. Of course, the following isn't perfect. Martin Krafft will be making it more efficient presently.
precmd () {
eval toresbe="${(j:%%\{\\e\[1\;$(( (RANDOM % 7) + 31))m%%\}:)${(s::)$(print -P 'X%n@%m:%~')}}%%#"
PS1="$(print -P ${toresbe#?} %%{\\e\[0m%%})"
}
Excuse the Amayaness of this post, especially when there are mujeres.
Posted Thu 27 Jul 2006 09:41:18 AM EDT