Joey, in a hilarious exposition about thread patterns, mentions k00ks, which reminds me of movie adaptations.
Every time “good” books get turned into movies or things one seems to call “miniseries” even when they aren't, deep, thoughtful critical analysis sparks discussions that I am somehow forced to endure.
« Oh my god, that was so wrong. The book was very specific about how many steps there were, and Peter Jackson just went and changed it for no reason. »
« There was a book? »
« That was good. It was exactly like the movie. »
« No, it wasn't. The book didn't have Dumbledore crossdressing, Hermione being a dirty little slut, and Harry sodomizing Hagrid and all the animals. »
« Well, it had the same feel. »
« What you have to do is not think of it as having anything to do with the book. Then you might enjoy it. »
« It's a movie. Enjoy the movie. It's a movie. »
« I can't believe they didn't do anything about Sunny's teeth. It's like Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, only botched in the opposite way. »
Then there's the fun game of sitting around and arguing about which adaptation of Dune is the worst: some version of the movie, or the SCI Fi Channel miniseries. Who ever thought that hats would enter into a discussion like that? Not I. I still have some hope for the 18-hour Italian version featuring Salvador Dali, assuming they can resurrect Dali and start making the movie again.
Speaking of the SCI Fi Channel and their high-quality programming, I made the mistake of watching Legend of Earthsea, a “miniseries” with two whole parts.
Don't worry about this movie wrecking the books for you; it bears little resemblance to the Earthsea books by Ursula K. LeGuin. Apparently Ursula noticed this too, because she complained about the adaptation. It looks to me that she's being far too kind. My guess is that they took a a few of the books, ripped out some random pages, shuffled them, and gave them to the people who made the “BeastMaster” TV show, with instructions that didn't make sense in any language.
The best part of this “miniseries” for me was the point at which I was screaming at the guy on the screen (who was obviously a Hampshire student at some point) to go back and get his hackeysack.
Now I read that they're going to take religion out of the His Dark Materials adaptation. As Kaki would say histrionically, « Kill me now. »
- Whose grave have you always wanted to visit?
- Why are there so many fat chicks at ren faires?
- Is it more ethical to shop at WalMart or steal from WalMart?
- Is there a book you have been trying to finish for years? If so, what is it, why can't you get through it, and why can't you give up on this book?
- A ten-year-old child reading a comic book should be ________
- What is your 怪癖?
- Do you have a favorite country? Why?
- Typical desert island stranding: what is your ideal rescue scenario?
- Without googling, do you know for what Rhysling Awards are given?
- How would you react to the following situation: You are walking down a quiet country road. Up ahead, lying in the dirt, is a little baby bird. Both its wings are broken. You have a hammer.
I'm told that the last question was plagiarized from The Doug Anthony All Stars.
Andres: That is a bad track record. You should move to a safer neighborhood, like Bushwick or Bed-Stuy.
Joey: I don't know what they've done to the Narnia script. My expectations were so low that I was thrilled to find out that they were doing The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe first instead of following the “new and improved” book ordering.
Last I heard, they were doing terrible, terrible things to Ender's Game.
Steve: I seem to remember that one can write a more functional HTTP server in fewer lines of Z-Shell code.
Benjamin: As I understand it, Orson Scott Card is the problem. I'm sure other people can point to examples in his writing which illustrate poor judgment; I will stick to the topic at hand. Orson Scott Card has reportedly expressed his belief that Jake Lloyd is a fine actor. Orscon Scott Card has expressed his wish that Jake Lloyd play Ender in the movie. In case you are reading this with some program that strips hyperlinks (be sure not to miss the changelog for version 1.5.7), I'll remind you that Jake Lloyd is the kid who played Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace.
If I recall correctly, Mr. Card was relieved to discover the high quality of child acting, because it meant that he wouldn't have to dumb down the story quite so much. I'm almost certain I heard that Peter and Valentine would be dropped entirely.
I cannot bear to go on.
Finally, the unifying theme between “HTTP Server” and Orson Scott Card is that, some time ago, Mr. Card attempted to co-author a novel with… the Internet.
Does anyone have a link for that?