For ages I've been advocating for the dissolution of the tech-ctte, one of the biggest bugs in the Constitution. However, for the longest time I was unable to suggest a suitable replacement; there will always be people whose characters are so flawed that they will appeal to authority as a matter of first recourse, and those people need some sort of forum within which to waste time.

Then the circus of #727708 came about, possibly the only useful thing the tech-ctte has ever done. Suddenly it became clear to me what would be a drastic improvement: replace the entire shitshow with a close analog of the Gowachin legal system from Frank Herbert's ConSentiency universe.

Sure, it wouldn't fix the structural problems of a self-selecting group, or the related problem of the wider community not understanding such basic concepts as nomocracy, conflicts of interest, separation of duties, separation of powers, accountability, responsibility, independence, oversight, due diligence, corruption, transparency, and egomania, but it would still be better in nearly every aspect.

Or maybe term-limit band-aids will magically fix everything.

Posted Mon May 26 17:11:16 2014 Tags: ctte gowachin

Jebediah boarded the airplane. It was a Bombardier CRJ900 with two turbofan jet engines. Run by SPARK, a subset of Ada. He sat down in his assigned seat and listened to the purser inform him that he was free to use his phone door-to-door on all Delta Connection flights. As long as the Airplane Mode was switched on. Jebediah knew that this was why Delta owned 49% of Virgin Atlantic.

On the plane ride, a woman in too much makeup asked Jebediah to get the man next to him so she could borrow his copy of the Economist. The man said she could keep it and that it was old. He had stubby little fingers. She was foreign.

At Terminal 2, they passed by Kids on the Fly, an exhibit of the Chicago Children's Museum at Chicago O'Hare International Airport. A play area. Jebediah thought of Dennis.

The Blue Line of the Chicago Transit Authority was disrupted by weekend construction, so they had to take a small detour through Wicker Park. Wicker Park is a neighborhood. In Chicago. Jebediah looked at Glazed & Infused Doughnuts. He wondered if they made doughnuts there. Because of the meeting, he knocked someone off a Divvy bike and pedaled it to the Loop.

The Berghoff was opened in 1898 by Herman Joseph Berghoff.

Once he got to the Berghoff, he got a table for seven on the west wall. He eyed the electrical outlet and groaned. He had brought 3 cigarette lighter adapters with him, but nothing to plug into an AC outlet. How would he charge his device? An older gentleman came in. And greeted him.

“Hello, I'm Detective Chief Inspector Detweiler. Did you bring the evidence?” Said the man.

Jebediah coughed and said that he had to go downstairs. He went downstairs and looked at the doors. He breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing the word “washroom” in print reminded him of his home state of Canada. Back at the table he opened a bag, glared angrily at a cigarette lighter adapter, and pulled out a Palm m125. Running Palm OS 4.0. He noticed a third person at the table. It was the ghost of Bob Ross.

“Меня зовут кайзер созей,” said the ghost of Bob Ross. It was good for him to communicate telepathically with Sarah Palin.

“This has eight megabytes of RAM,” Jebediah informed the newcomer. Bob Ross's ghost right-clicked on his face and rated him one star. Jebediah looked angrily at the AC outlet and fidgeted with two of his cigarette lighter adapters.

DCI Detweiler said, “I had a Handspring Visor Deluxe,” and pulled out a Samsung Galaxy Tab 3 8.0 eight-inch Android-based tablet computer running the Android 4.2.2 Jelly Bean operating system by Google. “This also has eight megabytes of RAM,” he continued. “As you requested, I brought the video of your nemesis at the Robie House.

Jebediah stared at the tablet. He could see a compressed video file, compressed with NetBSD compression and GNU encryption. It was on the tablet. “Some bridges you just don't cross,” he hissed.

Meanwhile, in Gloucestershire, someone who looked suspiciously like Bobby Rainsbury opened up a MacBook Air and typed in a three-digit passcode. Across the street a wall safe slid out of the wall. And dropped onto someone's head. She closed the laptop. And went to Dumfries.

Not far from the fallen safe, a group of men held a discussion.

FBI: Why are we here on this junket?

CIA: Where are we?

DIA: We're here.

JIA: This is confusing.

NSA: I have to get back to that place in Germany where I don't work.

ATF: We're talking about giant robots here, people.

EPA: Huh?

Part 2

AUD:USD 1.0645

donuts:dozen 12

Gold $1318.60

Giant robot spiders fought each other in a supermarket parking lot.

Detective Seabiscuit sucked on a throat lozenge. “Who are you again?” he asked the toll-booth operator.

“I said my name is Rogery Sterling,” replied the toll-booth operator.

“Rajry what?”

“I said my name is Rogery Sterling,” replied the toll-booth operator. Again.

“Where am I?”

“Look, I'm telling you that that murder you're investigating was caused by software bugs in the software.”

“Are we on a boat?”

“Look at the diagram. This agency paid money to introduce, quite deliberately, weaknesses in the security of this library, through this company here, and this company here.”

“Library, oh no. I have overdue fees.”

“And they're running a PR campaign to increase use of this library. Saying that the competing options are inferior. But don't worry, they're trying to undermine those too.”

Detective Seabiscuit wasn't listening. He had just remembered that he needed to stop by the Robie House.

Posted Wed Apr 23 01:59:43 2014 Tags:

Now that ZOMG has support for Opus, I find myself wondering how one does the equivalent of vorbisgain, preferably without floating-point.

Posted Wed Mar 26 03:36:53 2014 Tags: opus zomg

I vote for Martinique.

Posted Thu Feb 20 21:36:45 2014 Tags: youaskedforityougotit

An NSA employee reminded me that I've been on IRC for 20 years.

Posted Thu Feb 13 18:39:52 2014 Tags: irc
Total keys: 996
Key versions:
    996 4
Primary key pubkey algorithms:
    623 "DSA"
    373 "RSA"
Primary key pubkey sizes:
    624 1024
     27 2048
      2 3072
    340 4096
      2 8192
      1 10240
Total number of UIDs + UAts: 4394
Hash algorithm used for most recent self-sig:
      1 "RIPEMD160"
   3188 "SHA1"
   1041 "SHA256"
      1 "SHA384"
    163 "SHA512"
Judgment on preferred hash algorithms:
   1776 null
   2618 "weak hash with higher preference"
Judgment on expiration times:
     53 "expiration passed"
    111 "expiration too far in future"
   3887 "no expiration set"
    343 null

This was generated with debian-keyring 2013.12.13, hopenpgp-tools 0.4-1, jshon 20131010-3, and the following inefficient script:

#!/bin/zsh

infile=/usr/share/keyrings/debian-keyring.gpg
tempfile=$(mktemp)
trap 'rm ${tempfile}' EXIT

hokey lint --output-format JSON <${infile} >${tempfile}

print -n "Total keys: "
jshon -a -e keyFingerprint <${tempfile} | wc -l

print "Key versions: "
jshon -a -e keyVer -e val <${tempfile} | sort | uniq -c

print "Primary key pubkey algorithms: "
jshon -a -e keyAlgorithmAndSize -e pubkeyalgo -e val <${tempfile} | sort | uniq -c

print "Primary key pubkey sizes: "
jshon -a -e keyAlgorithmAndSize -e pubkeysize -e val <${tempfile} | sort -n | uniq -c

print -n "Total number of UIDs + UAts: "
jshon -a -e keyUIDsAndUAts -k <${tempfile} | wc -l

print "Hash algorithm used for most recent self-sig: "
jshon -a -e keyUIDsAndUAts -a -e uidSelfSigHashAlgorithms -a -e val <${tempfile} | sort | uniq -c

print "Judgment on preferred hash algorithms: "
jshon -a -e keyUIDsAndUAts -a -e uidPreferredHashAlgorithms -a -e explanation <${tempfile} | sort | uniq -c

print "Judgment on expiration times: "
jshon -a -e keyUIDsAndUAts -a -e uidKeyExpirationTimes -a -e explanation <${tempfile} | sort | uniq -c

This represents incorrect handling of revoked UIDs and user attributes, and possibly unknown bugs. "Judgments" are based on this document and are not generalized per key.

Posted Wed Jan 22 17:03:09 2014 Tags: debian hopenpgp jshon keyring

As I watch my friends and enemies rush to make their 501(c)3-qualified donations before midnight, I think to ask, “What if, instead of giving to these fat, corrupt organizations that are rolling in money and waste most of it, you gave to the FSF, the SFLC, or the Tor project?”

Posted Tue Dec 31 18:58:01 2013 Tags: charity donation tax

Nema nože

Posted Thu Dec 26 23:11:48 2013 Tags: ajvar cevapi sneg

In the future there will be an episode of Elementary with Frankie Faison playing Judge O'Hare.

Posted Fri Oct 25 03:45:13 2013 Tags: elementary faison

As you know, I am not big on reviews, so you should disregard the remainder of this entry.

I recently found myself in what is called a “theatre complex”, watching an adaptation of Molière's Les Femmes savantes by Freyda Thomas, who is apparently famous for playing Alenis Grem on Deep Space Nine.

Called The Learned Ladies, this translation to English manages to approximate some of the rhyme of the original, thereby making it unquestionably better than DS9.

Also noteworthy is the all-female cast, cobbled together from two all-female theater groups. Elizabeth Neptune plays Chrysale, occasionally channeling the spirit of Jackie Gleason or bringing adorable ardor to such epic lines as “Tea!” I won't say anything about her eyes, but I will say something about her slippers.

Sara Montgomery, as Bélise, is delightfully crazy in her singing, dancing, costume changes, and other antics, which serve to transform this otherwise-completely-serious play into a comedy. I definitely won't say anything about her shoes.

Madeleine Maby begins playing Philaminte well before the show starts. Spoiler alert: she sits on the stage, pretending to look through a telescope and make notes from before the house opens until right before the start of the first scene. I still feel exhausted by the thought of having to do that myself.

L'Épine is portrayed by Alyssa Lott, who also plays three minor roles. Her mastery of physical comedy is not wasted on this production.

Marta Kuersten plays Clitandre opposite Sarah Brill's Henriette. While Marta's performance was quite good, she looks much better as a woman. I will not be saying this about everyone.

Katie Honaker delivers visceral smarm and sleaze as Trissotin. Even her hairstyle is somehow evocative of contempt.

Susan Finch plays Vadius and Le notaire. Susan was definitely most convincing as a man. Despite mutterings to the contrary, some suspension of disbelief was necessary for the other male roles, but not for Vadius, oh no.

Finishing out the list we have Janna Emig as Martine, Francesca Day as Armande, and Kathryn Alexander as Ariste, with good performances, particularly in the second half.

Even though it didn't have Coppertop from Strangers With Candy and a boy-band song-and-dance cover of To Be with You by Mr. Big, I recommend this play.

Posted Mon Oct 14 19:03:40 2013 Tags: ateh cake moliere