A giantess said to a man, « Son of Earth, regard my Blog, and fear it, for it is the Wave of the Future. »

The man replied, « You are indeed enormous. What is a Blog? »

The giantess scoffed. « Puny one, » she said, « how can you live in this land and be so ignorant? Blogs are the New Media. I shall furnish you with the URL. »

The man typed the URL into his Web Browser, and absorbed the information displayed upon his Screen. « This is mildly interesting, but I would much rather read about Ali Davis working as a porn clerk. »

« FOOL! » she fumed with disgust. « My Blog entries are so magnificent that all creatures big and small will Link to them. Then my Blog will be read aloud on cable news, and soon I will be invited to share my Opinions on talk shows. » she proclaimed, and like the ebb of the tide, she returned to her Day Job.

Time passed, and a dwarf approached the man. « Did you see what the Grumpy Old Djinn wrote in his Blog today? » she inquired.

« No, » the man replied nonchalantly. « I don't read Blogs. »

Looking at him levelly, the dwarf said, « You should. Get an RSS Reader. » Then she continued on her way.

« Hey, you're kinda short, » he called after her.

She looked back to yell, « You're fat! » and vanished behind a tree.

The man, weary from all this socializing, decided it was time to go to a party. At this party he ran into his friend the Monkey. « Yo, dude, » said the Monkey, « did you check out my sister's Blog? »

« Uh.. your sister has a Blog? » grunted the man, for he was as uninterested as he was irritated by the neighboring conversation about the critical importance of having an advanced degree in oncology from a reputable university.

« Yeah, dude, » said the Monkey, somewhat incredulous that anyone could have missed his Blog entry Linking to the Blog of his sister. « It is really interesting. Just follow the Link from my Blog. »

On his way home, the man thought carefully. If he openly refused to read the Blogs of the Monkeys, they would hurl feces at him. That is why, when he reached his abode, he procured for himself an RSS Reader. He subscribed to a variety of Blogs and proceeded to wade through them. There were fascinating observations about how people had put on their shoes in the morning, and recommendations about what blogs to read, and speculation about which soap opera characters would marry one another this week, and very personal thoughts about which the writers sincerely hoped that their close friends would never read. So the man sent the RSS Reader to the Bitbucket In The Sky.

The giantess stopped by the next day, and when the man inquired as to whether or not she had gotten invited to any talk shows, she shouted in anguish, « Worm, you really don't read my Blog, do you? »

« No, I do not, » he admitted as she flayed him with a cat o' nine tails.

When she had gone away, the man procured another RSS Reader and subscribed to the Blog of the giantess, which happened to use Movable Type. « What the hell is this shit? » he mused poetically, for only a very small portion of each entry was readable. So he subscribed to another Blog using Movable Type, and found the same problem. He subscribed to another, and yet another. Finally he discovered one that included the entire entry and did not force him to follow a Link to get to the real content. It was a good Blog, and it gave him Hope, but every MT Blog he found after that had the same problem as that of the Blog of the giantess.

They found him six days later. He had clawed his eyes out before realizing he could have unsubscribed from the problem Blogs.