Barbie was dying to know some specifics of the contents of an airplane bathroom. This video does not answer all questions.
!airplane bathroom(http://ximg.scru.org/images/airplanebathroom.jpg)
Posted Wed 02 May 2007 10:11:31 PM EDTI was greeted yesterday with « Do you work at Trader Joe's? » and while I sit here, wreaking the Lord's vengeance on that little lady, I have time to reflect on gossip.
The rumor is out: Purse is engaged to be married to.. a Canadian. Where is your nationalistic pride, Purse? What of the ethnic impurity? Will you spawn and allow your half-breed progeny to gambol across the tundra, sweating to the oldiest from coast to coast, studying geography so they can one day hunt down the elusive and infamous Brunswick dugong? Woe to all of us for not letting you visit Kashmir.
Posted Sat 05 May 2007 11:24:19 AM EDTShe invented summer camps, and he gave birth.
Posted Sun 06 May 2007 10:02:18 PM EDT« I had a friend who had a friend who was at a party with Christopher Walken, » he said, « and he got creeped out when Walken apparently told him that “the best part about being Christopher Walken is you get to bang Natalie Wood in the ass”. »
« And then throw her over the side of a boat! » she said.
Posted Tue 22 May 2007 02:07:31 PM EDTI thought I might indulge myself in the traditional 10-year anniversary lookback (not in Angora), but I decided that it would be far too negative. So I contemplated describing what future accomplishments and events currently excited me, but as I iterated through these I realized that about half of them were blocked or fettered by other persons who may or may not deserve the brunt of my wrath in any of its various forms.
Thus I stalled, hoping that people would eventually move their asses and live up to their commitments, so I could write a charming little piece about the sunny times to come instead of reciting a litany of complaints. There has been little motion on that front.
So, what to do? I will tally the Debian-related highlights of the past decade, excluding all items for which there is a “but”.
Here is the complete list:
Posted Thu 24 May 2007 11:08:36 AM EDTIn the middle of the forest on the hill is a ley, and through that ley runs a creek, and across that creek rests a weir, and by that weir stands a detached concrete wall.
By that wall is a table of wrought iron, and surrounding that table are three wrought iron chairs, upon which there are no cushions. Were one to query a being seated upon one of these chairs, one might be told that it was a most uncomfortable place for one's hindquarters.
In the days of yore, one Philip discovered this place, and this Philip did seek out his friend Paul to show him the glorious place that he had found.
Paul was readily impressed, and the two of them appointed themselves the caretakers of this place by the weir in the creek in the ley in the forest on the hill. They built a shed next to the detached concrete wall, and in that shed they placed tools of the sort used for groundskeeping, and eventually they acquired an old riding mower that someone had been in the process of discarding, and they placed the mower also in the shed, and worried about the value of the mower in the shed, they procured a large combination lock for the door of the shed, and installed it hastily.
As the trove in the shed burgeoned, Philip and Paul invited more friends to share enjoyment of their place by the weir in the creek in the ley in the forest on the hill. People would come every day and watch them cut the grass and kill the moss on the detached concrete wall. On rare occasions a guest would say, « Need any help with that? » and Philip would shout back, « No, thanks, we've got it all under control! »
This golden age continued for quite some time, but as with all glorious things, one small event disturbs the balance, things spiral out of control, and despite anyone's efforts, nothing succeeds in restoring the state which many found so very acceptable.
HOW IT HAPPEN: Philip had a dream about an angel on the beach. This dream plagued him day in and day out. It plagued him like the wind. Finally, sitting on the detached concrete wall, murdering some moss, he snapped. « If I can't get an angel, I can still get a boy, and a boy'll be the next thing to an angel, » he announced. « The next best thing to an angel, » he clarified. « A boy'll be the next best thing. » Then, to further illustrate the progress of his nervous breakdown, he leapt off the wall and ran into the forest.
« What? » replied Paul, and continued his labors. « Need any help? » some guests inquired. « No, we've got it all under control, » Paul answered.
The days went by, and Philip remained absent. Paul started to work more slowly, and neglected certain parts of their sanctuary. Soon he only showed up every other day.
« Hey, guys! » Philip shouted, arriving to find most of the regulars there. « Sorry I haven't had time to attend to things, but I've been busy. »
« Do you need any help? » someone grunted half-heartedly.
« Naw! » Philip answered, « I'll just catch up now. » Thus he spake, and thus he did. Inspired by Philip's toil, Paul resumed his efforts more heartily, even though Philip disappeared again.
The days went by, and Philip remained absent. Paul started to work more slowly, and neglected certain parts of their sanctuary. Eventually he was doing almost nothing at all.
« Is. There. Something. We. Can. Do. To. Help? » asked the peanut gallery.
« I don't know, » Paul snapped. « If you want to help, ask Philip. » He stormed off.
Posted Thu 31 May 2007 11:30:07 AM EDT